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The sex, the city, and the revolution

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by Ronnie Ali

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  Participants in Toronto's 2007 Pride Week
 
Participants in Toronto’s 2007 Pride Week.

Every so often, even the most secure and reserved Toronto citizens engage in conversations about sex, fucking, fooling around, romping, bumping bellies, cumming, burying the treasure and even searching for the treasure. Despite this, there is still a general hesitance to embrace sexuality, all it’s facets and all the different modes of expressing sexuality. We’re absolutely fine with the overdose of heterosexual innuendos plastered on every billboard that’s not in proximity to Church & Wellesley in downtown Toronto.

Outside of Pride Week the majority of sexually diverse individuals are being satisfied with mere tolerance. Solely striving for tolerance is unacceptable. A healthy culture of sexuality needs to be cultivated in order to produce generations of sexually sound individuals who do not abuse it as a method of rebellion, or violence.

Making room for sex outside of our bedrooms, or community parks and in our daily conversations, with a little bit of maturity and childish enthusiasm, will help foster an immense awareness of our amazingly diverse city. When this is accomplished, we can anticipate generations of healthy sexual individuals who respect the human body as a sexual instrument and embrace sex as a symbol for passion, lust, power an sometimes love and money.

Many of us assume that we have already discovered and established our sexualities and have appropriated a respective label for it. But after reading some books and comparing my notes with some of my recent conversations and sex escapades, I can only come to one rather ironic conclusion: none of us have really got our sexuality figured out; and, our hesitance to embrace sexuality stems from this ultimate insecurity.

If we consider ourselves to be impressively complex and sexual cognitive beings, then the boundaries of our sexualities will seldom be as cut and dry as we believe them to be. I would be quicker to say that everyone’s sexuality is as sticky and re-mouldable as play-doh. We should be able to explore every potential sexuality, and adopt certain aspects of each as part of our own. After all, once we have been exposed to even the slightest sexual stimuli, we will seek to partake in anything rewarding. Furthermore, since we are all highly unique individuals (a round of applause for our fantastic genes), our sexualities must also be highly unique; and, our physical environment controls the expression of those genes, allowing for our flexible or boringly rigid sexualities.

We all can experience that bone-rattling and stupefying sexual experience with a wellspring of people and objects. So why not substitute your vibrator or fleshlite with a member of the same, opposite or ambiguous gender? Why not experience the full capacity for every sexual use of your body? Sex can be just sex, the factor of men, women, MTF, FTM, blue, green, alien, four inches, nine inches, 30 seconds or four hours is simply a variable: the dynamics are the same. In a recent argument, my friend made the claim: “I’m straight but I like to ‘cross over’ from time to time”. In another conversation: “I’m not gay, I only liked you.” While I still doubt these friends are actually straight, these sentiments seem to resonate throughout my peers and is indicative of a unique and flexible sexuality rather than one with a label and conditions.

Perhaps we’re already progressing to a culture in which we are expanding the boundaries of our sexual scopes. It’s fucking fabulous However, most people haven’t realized that we have limited our sexualities by allowing social institutions in place today to facilitate how we think about ourselves and our capacity to be fully sexual human beings. We must not relent and limit our sexual arousals solely to physical attributes, even though they can be sacredly important at times.

We should see people as multi-faceted, complex and beautiful creatures with a basic sexual essence. I think it is important to experiment at all ages; and by exploring the so-called forbidden and chaotic caverns of our sexual minds so we can establish our own highly unique set of rules that govern a sexuality that is true to ourselves. Through engaging in conversations, escapades, and yes, even reading, we can create the venue for this much needed revolution to unfold.

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Written by thecanadianheadlines

December 21, 2009 at 4:19 am

Posted in Sexuality

Tagged with ,

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